"How does it feel for your Dad to love someone else more than you?"

     Sometimes, I want to keep my mouth shut for the rest of my life. It's not because I've said something to offend someone or anything like that, it's because I feel that what I say is of no importance to anyone. I feel so miniscule and worthless. I have friends, but I don't know what they really think of me. I don't know what to say to them sometimes. I don't know if any of them will stick around, in even a year. 

     I notice a common habit with nearly all my guy friends: they never really hug me. Sounds stupid enough, I know. But it's not as simple as that. Other girls, they go up and hug all the time as a casual, perhaps underlying flirtatious gesture. But me? Nada. It's not like I have romantic feelings for them or anything. It's just that if they do that with everyone, why not me? It may sound to you, whoever you are, like I am just reading too much into this; but so what if I am? I would rather over think these things that be a mindless piece of waste. 

      Events like that make me firmly believe that all the things I ridicule myself over are true. God fucking damn. My whole life I have been told to forget about what people think of me, because all that matters is what you think of yourself. As long as you have self-confidence, your set for life. Well, unfortunately I don't. Does that mean I've completely fucked myself over? 

     I feel so alone.