Sitting alone in the dark for 35 minutes seemed difficult at the time. The absolute silence made me very aware of every buzz around me, or maybe I just started to hear things. Although we were given no instruction on what to think about, I was trying to keep my head clear. This was partly due to me knowing that if I was to let my thoughts completely get to me, I would probably have an anxiety attack. Because my head is completely filled with the things necessary for me to get into university, I've been rather stressed lately. Even my Drama teacher Ms. M came up to me and asked if something was wrong today; I guess I'm not too stealth about it.
The second part, the mirror gazing, was by far the most difficult. I'm extremely critical on myself, therefore it was not easy to look in a mirror for 25 minutes. At first I just wanted to pick my face apart. But once I got past the first ten minutes, I had a minor epiphany. I would call it minor because I've had it before, although this time it made a mark on my mind and stuck with me. I realized that this is what I look like, I can't change it. Mind-blowing, I know. But hey, for a 17 year old girl to come to that realization, I think that's pretty huge.
That's when I started to think about what the definition of beauty is. I wondered why some people think some people are beautiful and some not, and if for thinking some are not they would be considered cruel. I questioned how the image of skinny and blonde, muscular and buff became the image of beauty. Maybe it was developed through evolution, when men that could provide for a family by collecting wood and such were fought after. Thus, making it instinctive. And of course, the media plays a large role in it. Although after so many years have passed I cant help but think, isn't it about time we re-define our idea of beauty?
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