The Carrie Blog

     People used to describe me as a passionate person; when I felt something, I felt it to the greatest possible extent. I used to hurt more than anyone I knew, or many other people knew, because I let things penetrate too far into me. I don't know why I did it, but I thought it was almost fun. Being such a dramatic person seemed more interesting to me than being a simple one. So that's what I chose to be; up until the point where it became too much. I then found myself stuck in a truly dramatic situation, which was especially a problem for me because I didn't know how to deal with it. Because I had no experience in, "looking on the brighter side of things" I had absolutely no salvation. I drowned in my own remorse because I didn't know how to swim.

     But this blog isn't meant to be about that, it's questioning whether I still have that passion within me. When I feel pain now, it doesn't hit me as hard as it used to. I've matured into a happier person, but does that mean I am now incapable of falling that far into my emotions as I used to? I love music, places, few material items, and certain other qualities of life. But I have found that I no longer care for as many people. That's the passion I'm talking about. When I stopped with all the drama, did I stop caring?

Instead of having an outburst, I wrote a blog.

            I truly believe everyone wants to be Jane Fonda. 

     I'm in the mood to make a list today, so I am going to list off the things I am currently looking forward to:

1. Seeing Jane Fonda in 33 Variations on Broadway in less than a month.

2. Valentines Day (I love commercial holidays)

3. UBC's production of Falstaff in March

4. Everything to do with the play (EVEN the ridiculous amount of lines I have to memorize, it's part of the fun)

5. Going to see Cecilia Bartoli with Christina on the 25th with the VSO

6. Going to New York

7. 40 minutes away from now

8. Going to school tomorrow morning (odd, I know)

9.  Graduating

10. The masked ball event at the Chan Center Friday

11. All the events Winteruption has to offer on Granville Island in two weeks

12. Vancouver Opera's production of Rigoletto

So much excitement. 

I would be embarrassed if my name was Nik Matysek too.

     This blog is dedicated to Nik. Due to his lack-there-of talent, conversational skills, intellect, and overall persona, I felt it was necessary to demolish his confidence through this blog. Basically I just thought I would inform him of how much he sucks. 

     Nik is useless. There was this one time where we had a conversation in a stairwell for five hours; it got us no where. I learned absolutely nothing from his wanna-be philosophical outlooks on life. Throughout the painfully long conversation, I had to retain myself from bursting out in laughter. He once tried to convince me that he was getting 97% in Chemistry 12... I knew he was lying. Just goes to show how stupid he is to think that I would believe that. 

....I can't finish this, I'm lying through my teeth.

Oh man. That was pretty sweet.

     

Sex! I bet that got your attention.

     Due to the recent topic of apes, I started debating whether we are polygamous or monogamous. Naturally, one would said on an impulse that we are monogamous. Well... at least most people. I mean society bides us to only have one partner, it's always been like that. But why? How did it start? I'm not saying I'm against it, or that I want to go jump multiple mens bones; I'm just curious as to how this lifestyle originated. My best guess would be when religion rolled around, with all its strict guide lines against breaking ones faithfulness and shit. If the attraction is there and is inexcusable, why not give in? If there was nothing to hold us back, wouldn't we all jump on the p-train? Or, would we have some self respect and contain ourselves? Although in that situation, we wouldn't consider ourselves to be demolishing our morals because it would be a regular occurrence. But because I'm not a whore, I say, "Yay for monogamy" because there is no denying that it pains me to think of the guy I like with another woman (I hope he feels the same way).

     I can't decide. As a whole we are meant to be faithful to one person and we just use polygamy as an excuse to cheat, or whether we are meant to act on our passion and we just choose to pretend we are above it? Maybe we're all just apes waiting to go wild.

Apes have feelings too.

     I'm so ridiculously happy. It's the kind of happiness that vanquishes any negative element of my life. I love the unfamiliarity of it; it's the first time I think I've ever been pleased to have not felt like this in a long time.

     I really don't have a whole lot to say about him, he's simply fantastic. Whenever he talks in his naturally awkward manner he does this twitchy eyebrow thing... it makes me produce this odd, child-like giggle. But I don't really care, because it's a real odd, child-like giggle. As in it comes from my core. It seems that's where everything he makes me feel comes from. I know, sounds overdramatic- but I don't really care to be honest. I will bask in this moment of cheesiness because it's all I've got so far. 

     Oh and of course, he does other things than the funny eyebrow twitch that intrigue me as well.