August 1st

I can't wait for my new life to start.

Busted.

Dear Busters Towing,

I hate you.

Sincerely,

Mikayla

Seriously? Third time? Thanks assholes. You take my money and my car, want my unborn child too?

There's a lot of waaaay more substantial things I could be writing about, especially as I had quite the eventful day, but now I'm just too bitter and tired. Well hey, at least my ode to Busters towing is something.

The big apple

Wow. I'm moving to New York city.

In a small way it just hit me that I will actually be living in the most amazing, difficult, frustrating and quirky city in the world. The one place I've always wanted to live.

I'm starting to understand what people say when they say "you've got what it takes." People have been saying that a lot to me recently. At first it confused me; I didn't know if I fully understood or agreed with the full capacity of which they were saying. Now I do. I've got the drive, because it's the only thing that never bores me. Neat.

Sleep tight

There's so much I want to write here but I'm having serious difficulty forming sentences. Okay, instead I'm going to try and filter through my head in point form (always works)...

-What the hell, could I feel more emotions in one week?

- I'm excited to get out of here and start a new life.

- Also excited to meet knew people, start an extended not-actually-blood-related family that hopefully functions a hell of a lot better than mine does.

- I'm sad.

- I can be really dumb sometimes

- There was something really funny I wanted to text Fran but I can't remember now and it's driving me insane

- Angela Gheorghiu was not as good as I was hoping for. Bummer. She pretty much wanted to conduct it all herself

- I have the overture of Orfeo ed Euridice stuck in my head

- AH I JUST REMEMBERED WHAT I HAVE TO TELL FRAN! still just as funny

- I've gotta sleep now, oh god and memorize my lines like mad tomorrow! shit.

- I love Adina, perfect role for me to work on right now.

Aaaaaand g'night!

Life changing, literally.

Today's been quite the day.

I got into Manhattan School of Music.

I'm moving to New York, and will be graduating with only 11 other people.

Wow.

Saturday couldn't come soon enough

Theory homework at 11:20 in the evening. How typical.

Breathe in breathe out. All is good. No need to freak out Mikayla.

See, chaos in my brain. Time for sleep.

I'll let you know once I figure it all out.

Just because I haven't been blogging doesn't mean I'm not sticking to my resolution. I've been journaling, so ha! Counts for something. I'm sticking to my resolution, I swear. I've been in three countries auditioning for schools, so I think that's also a legitimate excuse to pause the blogging as well (one left on Saturday and then I'm DONE!)

Why do I feel guilty about this? So strange, so strange.

Although I may find myself feeling oddly guilty towards a computer, I've been pretty impressed with their power recently. Anne Curry enabled Doctors without borders to land in Haiti when no one else could, she also found an American family's daughter in Japan by receiving a photo through twitter, everything in Libya that started on facebook, etc. Everything revolves around these wonderful beats now.

What I find funny about all of these social networking sites is how similar they are to theatre. We go to the theatre to see a reveal into someone's private life, so similar to what we are desperate to see on facebook, twitter, blogspot, all of those guys. We're never satisfied until we find something really good, then we cool it for a bit, then we're right back at it. I remember a brief time in high school when I deleted my facebook, and I truly do not remember anything more freeing, yet stress inducing at the same time. It's become so addictive that even when what you would think would be so liberating as to delete it, you can't go a day without sneaking a peak on someone else's page. So to replace it, I started this blog about three years ago. Now what I find really interesting is the fact that this is where my real reveal is; this is where you can virtually see all the chaos going on in my head. Here, I only have three "followers," where as on facebook I have 818 "friends." Now even my boyfriend "follows" me on here. So call me Carrie Bradshaw, but my question is if people want to see the real thing, why do they shy away when the opportunity arises? Does it scare people when they know it's real?

In my acting class we are constantly exploring our real instincts and why we try to hide away from them on stage, as there is really no such thing as "acting." There is a process, sure, but it's only to get past all the crap and expose yourself. Last week my teacher had me put my hair back in a ponytail on stage. I didn't have to even say anything in order to create an uncomfortable air in the room. Everyone in there knew how uncomfortable it made me actually feel, and they were engaged in the scene the whole time, but not because it was a scene, because it was reality. I was myself, playing the piano, having to tell a friend that I didn't love him when I really did. Even though that wasn't really happening, it was. That was our reality for a while. Scary stuff.

Singing is the still the most revealing thing with me though, but most people sometimes miss it because I'm speaking another language. They don't realize that the act in itself is the most revealing part.

Hopefully this is actually semi-cohesive. Ah well, it's all a gong show that's all you need to know.